There is a moment where the thought is "can't we stay to together and be miserable so we can be happy that we are together" ... I have been there ... I have done this ... What I know is that no external reason ... No amounts of having someone to do things with or having someone to fill in your finances or having someone who tries to surprise you with "things" can make up for not being happy ... I did this for far too long in my last relationship ... Not because the love wasn't there ... It was and still is ... But because she wasn't there ... And that's ok ... It wasn't that I was a "bad girlfriend" (although I don't proclaim to be an angel ... We all have our faults especially when the end is obviously imminent) we just were not in this together ... I had my life, my career, my passion and my kids and she had a longing to figure out who she was supposed to be ... I tried with everything in me to guide her to that knowledge but in the end guided myself to the person I was destined to be ... She is still my best friend after a moment of us needing to retreat to gain perspective and that is perfect for us.
But that isn't the point of this post ... Or maybe it is ... But I know that many of you out there are living the life that I speak of ... Holding on to half when half isn't healthy ... Don't let the fear of lonely nights hold you back ... Reach further than your fears and realize that you have people who love you who will be there for you ... They will hold you together when you start to crumble ... They will buy you a bourbon when a drink would be great (or maybe that's just me) ... They will make you laugh about stupid things and they will be the truth you need in the world ... 
don't give up on you ... Trust me the broken promises and false "I was going to(s)" aren't worth the heartache you feel ... And the heartache you fear will probably actually become a repair kit ... It was for me
and these are the thing you learn while doing nothing on a train
No comments:
Post a Comment